How can I tell him that I'm not so interested anymore. Sure, it would seem easy, but it's not so much. I guess I am still in a way. It's nice having someone like you, feeling that special feeling, knowing he feels the same. But he's not all mine, never has been, never will be. But you, you on the other hand, you're all mine. No matter what anybody else thinks, no matter what anybody else says, no matter what anybody else feels... you are mine and will always be mine. From the moment I first met you that perfect autumn evening, I knew I would somehow have you. I jumped at the first chance to walk alone with you and the way you struck up a conversation, I ate my heart out. I feel so embarassed remembering every little detail of that night, you buying a soft pretzel with cheese, standing next to you on the very top of the bleachers, offering mints as someone suggested we play spin the bottle, asking Joe if you could kiss his girlfriend, Matt Kramer kissing his hand and touching my forehead, Samantha and Dan had to kiss, me praying that the bottle would land on me when you spun it, praying that you would be my first kiss even though I just met you. And in a way you sort of were my first kiss. Sure, 10 months had gone by since me and Shawn made out on my couch and me thinking that was the greatest thing in the world, but our kiss was more special to me. It was completely spontaneous and unexpected, it was outside beneath the stars, it was in the middle of Mill Creek Park beneath the Rose Garden (probably the most beautiful place in Youngstown lol), and I had somewhat secretly waited for that kiss for two years. It was a dream come true. Then of course my dream was shattered in a matter of forty-eight hours, but it was still so special to me and I will cherish that moment for the rest of my life.

::shakes head::
Enough of my dream world. I'm sick. And sickness sucks. Then my brother took my computer screen and didn't put it back on my computer until after 7:00. And he's the one who gave me this cold. BLECH! I haven't done my notecards for the research paper either, so guess who is staying home tomorrow... It kind of sucks because tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I was going to make a big deal about it with friends and pass out Valentines and candy or brownies. And I just happened to see Daniel buying the rose/candy gram things at lunch the other day. :(  One was probably for me because he's so sweet like that and now I won't get it. So sad. Well, maybe it wasn't for me and it was for Mary. UGH! That would blow. I bought him and Joe one of the candy ones because I'm not all about giving flowers to guys. I did that last year and Joe seemed sort of weirded out. lol

I HATE COLDS! And nobody loves me. :(  hmm.. somebody else took my truth quiz and I want to know who. :P

lol I'm done.
good-night
          -court